The Worst Kind of Customer

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Before I begin, I’m not sure how creepy this story really is. But if you take a moment to consider the unpredictabiliry of the human psyche, this may fit into that category just fine.

I grew up in a small town in Southern New Jersey.
I was an 18 year old male, freshly out of high school, and working my first on the books job-Blockbuster Video. The job was a cakewalk for the most part. It really just consisted of standing around renting out and checking in movies. Most of our customers were okay – save for one I’ll never forget.

My co-workers and I dubbed her “The Brittany Spears Lady.” She was easily in her 40’s, wore a pair of skin tight jeans, tacky tube tops, wore make-up that screamed “The clown college switched to Revlon”, and always had her bleached blonde hair in pigtails. She was only missing the headset microphone. (I’m not kidding.)

She was that customer that garnered a collective “Oh shit, not again” when we saw her damn near dancing through the parking lot towards our store. She always acted like a snob and showed us it WAS possible to function on 6 I.Q. points. In short-her personality sucked.

Then came the day most of us will never forget. 9/11. I was at the bank dropping off a deposit for my manager while the chaos unfolded on the televisions behind the teller’s desks. I rushed back to the store to find my manager in tears. The rest of the day was quiet. The franchise owner called us and told us to shut down after we got everything cleaned up and made a sign stating we were closing early due to the events unfolding.

We were just about to put the phones on the answering machine setting when you know who called.

She spoke with my manager and informed her she was trapped in NYC with movies in her car. I pulled up her account and found yes, she in fact had 11 films out. We found this to be a bit suspect because they had been rented the night before. Still my manager spoke to the owner and he gave her 5 days to get them back and we would waive the 200+ dollars in fees.

She shows up 12 days later.

Mind you, my manager was still willing to wipe her slate clean up to 10 days worth of fees. That is until through all of the yelling, scoffing, and eye rolling she yells “I CALLED YOU HIGH SCOOL DROPOUT ASSHOLES AND TOLD YOU I WAS TRAPPED IN THE POCONOS!”

Now you don’t have to be a geography major to figure out the Poconos Mountains are NOWHERE NEAR NEW YORK.

I watched my manager get so angry, I thought she was going to have an aneurysm. She flipped out on the lying, snotty bitch and barred her from the store.
On her way out she screamed at a Spider-Man maquette we were raffling off and failed miserably at trying to tip it over, almost spilling over as she pushed it.

Of course she tried to get my manager fired. Thank god for security footage showing everything she said and did. The ban not only held firm at our store – but at the other 6 stores the franchise owner ran as well.

So there you have it. The creepiest thing I’ve ever had a customer do in my 17 years of working is attempting to use a national tragedy as an excuse to get out of late fees.

Seriously lady, there’s a special place in hell for your lying and entitled ass.

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