Ernie the Hit Man
If you want to kill your wife, you have to hire the right hit man. You have to hire a man who is knowledgeable enough and experienced enough to do the hit right, and thuggish enough to take the focus away from you if he gets caught. I was looking for just such a man for Celine. Her life insurance had grown as fat as her ass had, in the ten years we’d been married, just like my first and second wives had. Now it was time to literally reap the benefits. Word had got around, in those certain circles, that I was looking again. That was when Ernie tracked me down, in an expensive bar on Manhattan Island.
“Hello, Sir! I’m Ernie Deluca, and I’m gonna be a hit! Man! Get it? I heard you were looking for one, Sir, so here I am.” He’d vigorously shaken my hand, smiling and completely oblivious to the fact that I was trying not to laugh at the poor sap. He was balding, had his belt hitched a little too high, showcasing a gut that was a little too big, and his shirt was half untucked. It soon became apparent that it was half untucked because he was constantly using it to clean his glasses.
“Uh…” I tried to think of something to say to what appeared to be a bumbling middle aged putz right out of a sitcom. I finally gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked what his qualifications were. Ernie happily pulled up a chair, and I ordered him a beer half afraid he’d tell me he didn’t drink.
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When I was a freshmen in high school, I experienced something that will make my first high school year unforgettable. There was this football player named Nick and trust me when i say he was every girls dreamguy he was! He was 6’1, smart, strong, and really hot. And his eyes were blue, they were gorgoues.
A guy like that, you’d think he’d be really popular and in some way he was. He just hated the idea being around people, and unlike any other guy he never partied or did anything fun. It was school, and practice for him. The creepiness all started out when i was waiting for a guy friend to finish with his football practice. Two other girls were sitting there with me waiting for my friend scott. Nick and two other guys walked toward us, the guys he was with were holding back their laughs. “hi mary” nick said in a really creepy but deep voice. He was a senior and I was a freshmen so i was very confused how he knew my name. My 15 year old slef, was a very very rude person and as the rude person i was i ignored him. One of the guys spoke and said, “would you ladies like to go to prom with us?”
They laughed out loud and walked away. At this point i thought they were all on something but i shook it off because highschool boys are dumb. Finally scott came and my two friends who were waiting with me left. Now scott had to leave really quick to change so i went and started talking to the couch. Nick was changed and all and he was on the field now staring at me and the couch, he approached and started to talk to the couch about missing game or something and i excused myslelf.
Read more “My Last Girlfriend Died”
No one ever really knows when or how they will go, but you must always be careful, as some people, might be prepared to make that time come a lot sooner….
Sweet 80’s Nostalgia hitting you with 3 Creepy Arcade Horror Stories with the Legendary Darkness Prevails! Listen for some truly horrific tales! Warning… There will be Clowns….