I am a female. In 2015, I was in my first year in college. That summer after graduating from high school, I broke up with my first serious boyfriend. It was long distance and lasted about a year and a half. I was the typical, newly-single college girl who had used dating apps like OkCupid to meet new people and go on dates. After having met a few unmemorable people, or people that just didn’t click with me, I met my next boyfriend. For this story, we will call him Bruce.
I had met Bruce on OkCupid, and at first he seemed nice. Cliché, I know, but I notice many people start out like that when you meet them as they just want to make a good first impression. He certainly did, and it pulled me in like a fly approaching a spider’s web. Our first date consisted of walking in the downtown area of our city, and because of the time of year, it was tourist season for this particular city, so we grabbed a bite to eat at a pizza joint away from all the hustle and bustle of the autumn festivities. It was also pretty cold. When we got to a major city landmark by the water, we shared our first kiss. Looking back, I pretended to like it – I felt like his nose was dripping on me. I looked past that, and that same night, we made it official.
I know it sounds ridiculous, why would I become official with someone I only knew for one night? I was dumb and naïve. Little did I know this would start a crazy shitstorm until February 2016. So, at first, he seemed kind and nice to me, but by the time I had to leave for holiday break, a new side of him began to show itself. My home was a half hour or so from my university, so this made it impossible to visit Bruce, let alone any of my college friends, for the time being. I didn’t have a car or my license, so I couldn’t drive. Taking a taxi or an Uber would have been very expensive round-trip. I actually had a stomach bug just before leaving my dorm for break, so I was stuck in there until the last day we were allowed to be in our rooms. Bruce had brought me saltines and ginger ale, which was nice of him, but he was very hot and cold about wanting to see me. In one breath, he told me he wanted to see me and take care of me. The next minute, he told me “I don’t want to catch something.” This (what I called) “Jekyll-and-Hyde” business became more and more prominent as time went on. From about late December on, Bruce would change his tone with me every other hour. He would at first be all happy and tell me how beautiful I was and just be flirty over messaging. The next hour, he would be angry and explosive for no reason, even went as far as blowing up my phone if I didn’t answer right away. He would text me even if he was at work.