It started just after I was potty trained. My parents got a kick out of watching me stumble into the living room, then the kitchen, then a closet, until I finally found my way to the bathroom. That’s usually what my sleepwalking is. Just trying to find a bathroom so I could pee. As I got older, I thought I’d stopped until my roommate showed me a video of myself walking into the living room, declaring that I was going to wal-mart, and then curling up on the sofa. She and I both laughed pretty hard at that. After that I just considered it an weird personal quirk. I went on to graduate college and get a job as a pharmacy technician, got married, and had my son, Tyler. My wife saw me sleep walk a few times, and she was a little creeped out by it. Rather than laughing, she’d gently lead me back to bed.
It never affected my life. We were a little family of three, and the happiest in the world, it seemed. My son was the light of my life. I was ‘momma’ and my wife was ‘mommy’ and he was most definitely a momma’s boy. He’d run out to the car every day after school to show me his report cards and drawings. At age 6, he was already a pretty talented artist, and his favorite thing to draw was zebras. It came as no surprise, then, that when Halloween rolled around, he wanted to be a zebra. My wife bought his costume and apologized again and again for having to work, but as a nurse, I knew she really didn’t have a choice. I promised to take plenty of pictures. I was going as a fortune teller, and I carried a large paperweight for my ‘crystal ball’. We had a wonderful time. Plenty of kids ran up to me and asked for their fortunes, and I usually told them I predicted they’d get lots of candy. My son got enough candy to feed his entire classroom, though of course he wouldn’t even let me have one piece. Jerk. We got home and I got him up to bed, poured a glass of wine, put on some netflix and totally stole some of my son’s candy. I woke up to my wife laying a blanket over me and tip-toeing in the direction of our bedroom.
“I’m awake,” I said. She turned and smiled at me and melted my heart. I held the edge of the blanket up and she snuggled in beside me.