It Still Sticks With Me After A Decade

Let me say this up front: My story does deal with elements of an abuse. I would understand if it may be too intense for some. Hell, after 10 years it still feels like yesterday.

I was 27 years old at the time of this and spent 3 weeks a month as a volunteer fire fighter / EMT. I come from a family that has been part of the military and medical services in one way shape or form. My dad was an army medic and my mom still is working with people in the mental health field to this day. I’ve always had two distinctive personality traits – a good heart and complete and utter lack of a life plan. So while I got stuff figured out around the age of 23, I took this on as a way of giving back.

I’d seen more than any person should in my 4 years of doing this. Car accidents. The aftermath of bar fights. Shootings. People who’d passed due to tragic circumstances and my takeaway was the fragility of this truly precious thing we call “life.” There was more bad than good – I personally helped deliver a baby because the mom went into labor too far from the hospital and she wasn’t going to make it. So within the time frame of 20 minutes or so, an 8 pound baby girl was born right in the back of my ambulance. Her name is Shelly and I still see her around town from time to time. I’ve become good friends with her parents and she’s a happy kid.

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It was here

It was her.
I am a call Firefight/EMT for a small New England town, I won’t give away where I live. As, I have never told this story to any of the other firefighter. On the night of December 12th, 2016, my tone went off and the dispatcher over the radio reported a one car MVA with entrapment. The officer on scene stated he could not get to the vehicle as it had gone off the road down a 20foot embankment. From the sound of it, I knew this was going to be bad, possible a fatality. I arrived at the station and hoped onto the engine and we made our way to the small road, a very secluded one at that. These types of roads are easy to work on because you don’t have much traffic, and it’s easy to close off. We worked quickly to set up the tower light, the car appeared to have swerved off the road and drove right into the steep embankment.
I could see that the car was in extremely bad shape. I was figuring a way to get down, I noticed a young girl standing about 10 feet away from me crying, I walked over to her and asked if she had seen what happened, she was a young looking girl, blond, wearing a blue tank top, black jeans with brown uggs (This is all important to the story) she didn’t respond she just sobbed and shook her head, she kept saying, how, how. I asked her again, did you see what happened do you know the person in the car? She just looked down at the car saying (How, how am I here?) I was thinking she was in shock, so I walked to the ambulance and grabbed a blanket, I walked over to her, and wrapped it around her, she didn’t move, she just kept saying (How, I am standing here, I’m here) when people are in shock, this is generally how they would act, I looked at her, and told her, everything is okay, you are okay, just stay her, she looked up at me, smiled and said (Thank you) this was the first time she actually responded to me. Before heading down the slope, I walked over to one of the officers and said, (keep an eye on her, she may be in shock) the officer looked at me and just said “huh?” I didn’t give him time to respond, as we made our way down, the car was in a massive amount of damage, as the other firefighters started to use the jaws to cut off the roof, I stayed in the back of the vehicle with the spine board ready to move it over to extract the victim, I heard one of the firefighter yell, victim is no response, heavy trauma, victim has passed, he said this a little harsher, but she was instantly declared due to massive head injury and the state of the body (I won’t get into the gory details) As we waited for state police to arrive, I made my way back up, to inform the IC (Incident commander) that the victim is deceased and we would now need to remove the body. When something of the nature, we have for the corners officer, and state police. After 3hrs of investigation and determine the cause of the accident we had the green light to remove the body. We made our way back down and began extraction, I awaited again the spine board. As the other firefighter removed the body, my stomach sank, it was her, the girl I had seen at the top of the hill, blue tank top, black jeans, brown uggs. As we made our way up the slope, my mind was racing, as soon as we got to the top, I look around for her, I walked up to the officer that I had spoken to earlier, and asked, “Where did that girl go!?” He looked at me again puzzled “What girl, I never saw girl” “You okay?” I just walked away, confused, and really upset. For months my head couldn’t wrap around the thought of seeing a ghost, I just couldn’t imagine what I had seen. I have finally come to terms with this, although I never told anyone about it until now I am just happy I made the girls last moments warmer, and at least I got her to smile.

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