Two in One Night

I’ve had a lot of crappy jobs in the past from being a janitor that cleans up after massive arena shows, gas station jobs, to a total of 4 delivery jobs. Each had their fair share of horror stories of just how awful and crazy people can be. None though can compare to the time I worked at a pizza hut in my home city of Wichita. I worked there for over a year and a half, and at that time I had to deal with high levels of stress on a daily basis.

It seemed that these problems were split into two categories.

Either the higher-ups had terrible rules to follow that lead to low staff numbers, and low pizza delivery time promises even if we were super busy.

Or we had to deal with some crazy customers. I had to deal with things such as carrying a wooden sword for personal protection in some neighborhoods, crazy crack houses, getting into a screaming match with a manager that cut me off the clock during a delivery, and even getting into a fistfight with a customer on my last day of working when I put in my two weeks notice. But for now, I’ll just tell you the story of two crazy customers that I had just two deliveries apart.

It was late January, I’ve already been working at this Pizza Hut for almost 6 months now.

I knew my routine rather well at this point. We just hired a new high school kid that I thought was pretty cool. However, his naivety really shown through when he put in a delivery order from God. Well, that’s the name the person on the phone gave anyways. When I was packing up the ticket and saw the name up top I already knew there would be trouble. I went to the kid and asked, “Hey man, what is up with this?” He gave me one of those looks most teenagers get when they look unsure and nervous.

Like they did something wrong, but not sure what. I wasn’t mad or anything, I just wanted to know how the call went down. He said it went down like a normal phone call. Even the manager said it had to be a legit delivery, but more than likely just poking some fun with the name.

We did have that from time to time. Legit deliveries with something silly in the name or extra description, like write a joke on the box. Or cut the pizza into a pentagram. I reluctantly took the pizza and soon drove off. When I got to the neighborhood, it was already very dark out. One of the most common problems is not seeing an address of any of the houses.

This was no exception as I pulled up in the driveway of a row of duplexes.

I got pretty good at guessing the right house when things like this happened. But with no address still in sight, I decide to call the number to make sure. When I did, the person who picked up quickly was mad and yelling.

I asked them if they ordered a pizza. Which they yelled even louder.

Cussing and screaming, saying they didn’t order any damn pizza. I hung up the phone and looked at the ticket in the pale dark. I was looking to see if I might have accidentally pushed a wrong number when I dialed when I see some guy to my right come outside of the home.

I hope this was the guy who ordered the pizza. Instead, this guy also came to my car fast.

Yelling and screaming. It was the same guy on the phone. Which meant I was ironically in the right place. He was dark skinned, with dreadlocks and was wearing nothing but boxers and a dirty t-shirt. He was mad yelling at me while I was still in my car. He pounded on my car with his fist and then digging his pants yelling, “I’m going to “effing” shoot you!” I quickly peeled out of the driveway and sped off. When I got back, I was mad, to say the least.

But it was even worse when my manager said she’ll just look into it.

We found out the next day, the guy was tripping on some sort of drugs. His friends thought it would be funny to order him a pizza. and not tell him. He literally thought he had a gun his boxers, but luckily he did not. Otherwise, I would’ve died over a dumb joke.

Just two deliveries after that I dropped off what seemed at first like a normal delivery.

It was just some buffalo wings to a nice lady. When I got back into my car, I see a tiny man slowly come out and down the driveway. Since it was late January, remnants of a snowstorm were scattered about here and their. So it was no surprise when the guy fell on his back hard due to some ice. It had to hurt.

I was inside my car on the street, and I still heard the thud. He didn’t even have time to brace himself or anything.

What was surprising was him getting right back up so quickly. Like nothing happened. And now he was walking right toward me. I don’t know why I didn’t just drive away then. I was curious but also frightened. Especially with the incident that happened just half an hour ago, and seeing this guy get right back up like he was the damn terminator or something.

He looked latino with a blank expression on his face when he just very gently taps on my window.

I roll it down, already mentally preparing my self for a fight. What I got instead was a very creepy voice that tried to be soothing but it came off more sinister. “Excuse me, sir. What was that dish all about?” I sat their and I blinked a bit confused.

The tone was so weird to me.

Creepy yet calm. With a hint of predatory to it. Also, I live in Kansas. While I do know the term dish to be substituted for food, I never heard anyone actually use it before. Who talks like that? I just ask with a dumbfounded, “What?” as he repeats it. Word for word in the same tone.”What was that dish all about?” It dawned on me this must be the girl’s boyfriend or something.

And he didn’t know she ordered food. Just on a weird deep instinctual level, I could tell this guy was dangerous. I’ve seen guys that seem ok at first but are super controlling of others behind closed doors.

I just said, “It’s just wings man.” His odd tone never changed as he went, “Oh, Ok then.” And then walks off. I immediately called the cops, because I was afraid he was going to beat his girlfriend or something. I never heard anything out of it though.

I had many more horrible experiences after that.

But those are different stories.

Now I’m an Uber driver. I honestly love it. I had a couple of weird things happen to me but it’s a far cry from the stuff at pizza hut. People are just nicer to you when they’re in your territory and not vice versa. Plus after a year it seemed like all the bad customers got too many complaints so they’re not allowed to use uber again.

Unlike the pizza hut which almost never banned a customer no matter how horrible.

A Creepy Night in a Cincinnati Motel

So this happened about three years ago during the last weeks I lived in Cincinnati. I was staying in this cheap little motel right of the interstate in one of the suburbs (not going to name the township for privacy reasons). It wasn’t as bad as some of the motels in the area but it was still shady. It was one of those places that was laid out kind of like a complex, about 7 or 8 single story buildings broken up where you could smoke in the rooms and the others were smoke free.

I was dating an amazing girl at this time who was a few years younger than me, and drop dead gorgeous. I only emphasize this as its relevent to the story, but anytime we were out in public she was turning heads. She also always had a lot of admirerers of both sexes. Well one evening we decided we needed to make a run to the closest station to grab munchies, some tall boys and cigarettes before a night of anime binging (I had her into the show RWBY at the time)

It was a good little ten minute walk down to the closest station and to get there we basically just walked across a sea of connected parking lots that started at a Wendy’s and included a huge hardware store, two strip malls, a Chinese resteraunt and the Shell station that was our destination. So we sit out on our little mini adventure, still giddy from the bowl we had just smoked. My girlfriend was dressed to kill this night wearing a corset, short skirt and black leggings with her favorite boots (yeah she was a goth girl and she wore it very well) and she was skipping along just being silly when I became aware that a car was creeping along behind us.

This didn’t quite compute with me at first as we weren’t obstructing it, we were walking on an island. Then the car started to pull up along side us and I instinctively put myself between it and my girlfriend. I’m not a big guy by any standards, but I grew up in a tough neighborhood so I can fend for myself. The car is a long four door model (not sure exactly what kind as it was fairly dark and I only saw it in profile) that was this dark red looking color from what I could make out in the poor lighting.

There are at least three men in the car that I can see. The one in the passenger seat goes “Yo, that your woman?” And gestures to my gf. At this point I’m regretting the decision to make this little walk and just take a deep breath “Yeah. What of it?” I said giving him a look that clearly says this is an unwelcome and uninvited interaction. We start walking again slowly hoping they’ll get the picture. They pull up again “How much?” The guy says and I stop in my tracks, my girl’s jaw just kind of drops. I don’t even dignify this guy with an answer but nudge my girl forward and just stare them down as I follow close behind her.

By now one hand is in my pocket gripping my knife expecting this whole thing to go south at any moment. I whisper harshly in my girl’s ear that if anything happens to bolt to the Chinese place and do whatever she needed. I knew what guys like these were about, and keeping her safe was the only thing on my mind. The car follows us at a distance, almost seeming to lose interest in us after we get past the resturant and make it to the station parking lot.

We rush in, get our things but when we come outside there they sit, in the resturant parking lot looking right at us. ‘So we’re doing this’ I think and hook the bag with our things on my left arm and my girl locks her arm with my right. She don’t look scared and her voice betrays no fear but the grip she has on my arm tells me she’s scared. Unfortunately other than a few cars at the Chinese place the strip mall lots are deserted so we’re going to be walking in the open until we get to the Wendy’s which isn’t even in sight from here.

I lead my grl towards the strip mall and away from the car. As soon as they begin following us I yell for her to run and we begin a dead sprint towards the hardware store. Just past it is a steep hill and no path or road. If we could make that hill we could get out of sight long enough to get to the Wendy’s before the car could. Of course there was the possibility of at least one getting out of the car to chase after us but it was a measured risk.

We managed to hide in the area where the dumpsters were, and no one got out to chase us. I peered out a gap in the fence and saw the car drive past slowly. They didn’t stop at the Wendy’s but instead to my horror turned into the motel parking lot across the street. The motel we were staying in. Had this been daytime we could of taken a side gate back away from the main entrance but after dark the owner padlocked the gate. The car parked itself on the inclined parking lot facing the road. From there they would see us the second we came out of hiding.

I am not sure how long we stayed there but eventually two of the guys got out of the car and walked over to the Wendy’s. Apparently stalking us made them hungry. That left one in the car. Gripping my girl’s hand we ran across the street and past the car. Thankfully the driver was one of the people that had gotten out. The man in the back of the car yelled at us as we darted past and disappeared into the complex. At the building my room was in someone had checked in that had a trailer with a boat on it and we hid behind that as the guy came running after us. When he passed us we finished the trip to our room and collapsed on the bed, keeping the lights out. The rest of the night we periodically saw that car cruising around outside like it was still looking for us. They had to of been pretty determined to do… I don’t like to think of what to me and my girl. Anyway thought I would share. Hope you enjoy