(I will apologize now for my spelling, run-on sentences and grammar because I’m dyslexic as fuck)
This isn’t a particularly scary story for others, but for me it was terrifying. (I am a 21 year old female, I’m 6’1 so I’m not short or small in any means. You’d think this would make me more confident in my ability to protect myself….I thought it would..it didn’t)
A while ago I became very bored and recently single, so my roommate suggested Tinder. We started to mess around on it, joking with the people we matched with and just all around annoying fuck boys, never with the intention of actually meeting anyone from the app.
Sadly for us circumstances arose that we both had to move to different cities, I continued to swipe through tinder in my new city. It’s a lot more populated here and not knowing many people I decided to maybe meet a few of these people.
One horrid Tinder date after an other I started talking to a seemingly very nice and genuine guy. He was 8 years older than me, but that didn’t bother me, he was part native with perfectly tanned skin that wonderfully contrasted my very pale complexion. He was a few inches shorter than me, but very muscular, with short brown hair, dark brown eyes that looked almost black and a sweet, somewhat cocky, smile.
We talked almost nightly for a week, I learned we had a lot of things in common, even the weird interests I have that most others want nothing to with. I felt I could be my complete and honest self with him, it was a great feeling. Let’s call this guy Omer.
I finally agreed to meet up with him one evening, he would pick me up and go to a Tim Hortons near by (a coffee shop here in Canada). I don’t drive so he had to come get me, doing so meant I had to give him my address. The time of our meet-up came and Omer pulled up, he was in a company car making him very easy to spot. As I walked up I was very relieved to see he was the guy from the photos, even more handsome in person in fact. We chatted as we drove to the Tims, we sat there drinking our hot drinks till the shop closed at midnight. I learned a lot about him in those hours, he had been married and had a boy with her then found out she had been unfaithful which led to him ending it. That had happened only a few months prior to our meeting. He told me about his colourful past but that he was turning his life around, that should have been my first red flag, but I’m an open minded person and I don’t hold people’s past against them if they’re bettering their future. That past included jail time, he made it sound so nonchalant that I assumed it was a stupid reason, such as starting a fight or marijuana possession, mild things to get arrested for and get jail time from in Canada.
Once the shop had closed he drove me home, I told him I had a great time and to text me when he got home so I would know he was safe as he lived in a neighbouring town not very far away. I got ready for bed and as I was getting under the covers I got the text, Omer asked to see me again.
We went on a few more dates over a couple weeks, usually after work seeing he worked in my city and it was easier than going home then driving all the way back, making it so I usually saw him in his work uniform. One of these dates was cancelled due to him being pulled over by the police, when I asked why he explained that he drove without a license because of parking tickets racking up and obviously not being able to pay them while incarcerated and that his ex must have called and tipped off the police at the near by station. He said he was sorry but that he could’t pick me up or come to our date. Missed flag number two.
After a few more dates he asked if I would come t his place and sleep over on the weekend, feeling comfortable and trusting of him I accepted. I was actually pretty excited. He picked me up in the company car as per usual even though he lacked the license to legally drive it. On the drive to “his place” Omer turns to me and explains that he’s a recovering addict, this didn’t bother me because he was bettering himself, he goes on to tell me he’s in a recovery house right now. This did make me pause momentarily, but I told him that was fine, yet another red flag. As we pull up he tells me I have to be quiet as we go in because I’m technically not supposed to be there, I thought that was odd, but complied. We go into what is his designated room, there is a bed, a chair, a side table and a dresser, it’s a bit of a mess but at that same time looked so empty. I sat on his bed and he tells me he has to take his car to his boss’ place and get a ride back from his boss, confused I agree and go onto my phone while he does so. He told me not to open the door if anyone knocks and locks it as he leaves, I felt a little uncomfortable but pushed that feeling aside, another flag.
When he returned a little while later he pulls out a bottle of Jack, he put his finger on his lips and told me he wasn’t allowed to have alcohol in the recovery house but drank often anyways. I’m not a huge drinker, but I didn’t want to ruin his fun. We ordered pizza and watched Supernatural on Netflix. He continued to drink, not too much but he definitely had a buzz going. After a while we got more comfortable, removing a layer or two of clothing. As he stood there in his boxers something caught my eye, I glanced over seeing a crudely done swastika tattoo on his thigh. I did a double take and stared wide eyed, Omer noticed and sheepishly explained that when he was young he was a skinhead and got that tattoo and an SS tattoo on his left bicep. Pointing at them both he told me they were done while he was in jail. I was a little shocked but again accepting, and snuggled up to him in bed. Things got a little, let’s say, sweat inducing that night. The next day we watched more Netflix and he played guitar. That evening he had to get a friend to pick me up and take me home seeing he didn’t have the company car, as the time for his friend to pick me up drew near I was getting a very bad feeling causing me to start having a panic attack. I tried to tell Omer that I wasn’t comfortable with riding with that friend, he told me annoyed that his friend was almost there and it wasn’t nice to waste his time like that. A little more calmly he told me he’d go with me. As we walked to the friends car and I saw the friend the bad feeling got worse, his guy looked like he just walked off East Hastings (a very bad area in a near by city that has the worst reputation and involves lots of drugs and death, look it up to understand), his teeth were scary, his face covered in sores and scabs and had just an all around bad vibe about him. I looked back at Omer and he ushered me into the back seat, I got in terrified and Omer pushed the seat back to sit in the front seat. I must have been visually uncomfortable because Omer reached his hand back, down between the seat and the door, and he held my hand through the whole ride. I had a death grip on it the whole time. His friend drove like a wild person, going way too fast and swerving too much for my liking, and I was honestly scared we would get into an accident. I began to silently cry and his friend laughed asking if he was that scary, I shook my head no but inside I was screaming. They dropped me off and Omer walked me to the door, he apologized looking down at me sadly. I then went inside, curled up in my bed and cried. Omer texted me apologizing again and to tell me good night.
I didn’t hear from him for a day or two, I texted him worried and finally got reply from him explaining that his friend had pissed him off that night and apologized again. We talked a few more days after that when he dropped again. I was starting to get really worried, even more so with the knowledge that he was a recovering addict. I called him over and over, admittedly probably a few too many times. I tried texting him a lot as well, still nothing. As I was waiting, and hoping for a reply, I decided, with no real reason, to look up his name in the public records to see what he was arrested for. I scrolled through the long list, that included all the parking and speeding tickets he had mentioned. When I was almost to the bottom of the second page one of the infractions caught my eye, Aggravated Assault, this shocked me but the file was Limited Access so I couldn’t see the details past where, when, and that it ended in jail time. I wanted to know more so I looked up his first and last name and city in google, an article from ten years prior came up with his name in it. I clicked on the link and read the article, it said Omer and three others had been arrested for fatally stabbing a guy and it was thought to be gang related. They broke in to this man’s house and attacked him, stabbing him multiple times. The man was sent to the hospital in bad condition but pulled through just fine. Omer would have gotten attempted murder but had his sentence lowered for ratting out the other three guys, Aggravated Assault gets significantly less jail time. He had been in jail for over 5 years, this was much worse than he had made it sound. I was freaking out, I texted him and told him to never contact me again and that he better not show up at my house. I blocked him on every social media account I had and his number on my phone.
This whole time I had kept in contact with my friend from before and was keeping her up to date, I had updated her on the situation a few days later. Obviously I was upset and whining to her, she asked if she could do anything to help and I sarcastically told her I would feel so much better if she called him and told him off. She replied asking for his name and number (she rarely knows peoples’ actual names but instead nicknames everyone), I laughed asking if she was serious. She was. So I sent her his name and number laughing to myself. A few minutes later she texted telling me that she’d called and when he answered she had asked him if he was Omer, he’d told her yes and she’d continued to tell him something along the lines of him being a piece of shit and to grow a pair or something like that. We laughed and I told her she was the best. We continued talking over text and about a half an hour later the door bell rang, I was in the basement so it took me a minute to walk up the stair. I wasn’t expecting anyone or any package so I was cautions. Suddenly there was a loud, hard knock, it made me jump. I quickly called my dad, he told me to stay calm and stay clear of the front windows. I went up to the second floor, and peeked through the curtains and out the window above the door, there was a figure that I couldn’t identify looming by the door. Suddenly there came a pounding knock from downstairs, it sounded angry and made my heart beat faster, I hid under the window. This continued for about 20 minutes, then abruptly stopped. My phone vibrated making me jumped, it was my dad, he calmly explained that he had called a family friend. This friend lived a few doors down, who happened to be a police officer, and my dad told me that the officer would go outside and check it out. Being in a townhouse complex the houses are verily close together making this easy.
My dad stopped by later to check up on me. He told me that the officer had gone and just stood on his front step in his uniform, and that whoever had been at the door saw him and left in their car.
After that nothing happened, I deleted my Tinder account and uninstalled that app. I’ve become very distrusting of new people, I’ve started doing background checks on almost every new person I meet. This experience has made my anxiety sky rocket and honestly I don’t leave my house as often, almost ever now.
Remember you don’t know who you’re really meeting online, always be careful if you meet with strangers, you never know how much danger you’re putting yourself in.
Always trust your gut, it might just save your damn life.
(I will apologize now for my spelling, run-on sentences and grammar because I’m dyslexic as fuck)